Honest I-Chu Trailer
by SoniCanvas
Summary: WARNING! The following trailer has been rated H for HONEST!


From a Japanese company...  
Er...

I guess every Japanese company that released male idol game never release their game worldwide since their thought about making female idol as cashcows might lose their popularity. But they should at least notice this game has been downloaded illegally.

ILLEGAL. FUCKING. DOWNLOAD!

Comes a rhytm strategy game that makes you play all day because you can't read Japanese but you need to harvest Legend cards to reach your high score.

...or you just want to collect any card from particular member and doesn't even care about other member of the same unit.

* * *

 **I-Chu**

Welcome to I-Chu, an idol group with so many members you can't even mention it one by one.

But at least the units are not as much as units we could find in Ensemble Stars.

With...  
A school principal that always wear a teddy bear suit, just like what we always find in Persona 4 and Danganronpa series...

...but instead of making you cry because of their guts spilling, you will cry for any romantic words you could not even understand.

.

.

Meet P-chan, the girl "producer" who will have a twisted romance story with these male idols...

...until you realize you can't read Japanese unless you open this fandom's Wiki because you could not use Google Translate for their conversations.

So prepare your money, and keep logging in everyday, because you will always find many events with rewards you have never seen.

Including:  
Extra lollipops and candies to keep raising your level and reaching S Rank in Extreme.

Extra disc and event tickets to harvest more Legend cards but you keep having a Super Rare instead.

Infinite amount of gold that is never enough to raise your team's level.

And...

 **TONS**

 **OF**

 **REVIVAL**

 **SCOUTING**

So brace yourselves to get salty when you could not even have your favorite members in this group.

Such as...

The long-haired bad boy stereotype.  
(shows Issei, Rabi, and Raku)

The cinnamon roll stereotype.  
(shows images of Mio, Kanata, Mutsuki, Babel, and Kyousuke)

The Japanese trap stereotype.  
(shows images of Pop'n Star)

The energetic and spiky-haired main character stereotype.  
(shows images of Seiya, Ban Jumonji and Torahiko)

The "ouji-sama" Stereotype.  
(shows images of Eva Armstrong and Hikaru)

The "twins" stereotype.  
(shows images of Twinkle Bell)

The "yandere chuunbiyou" stereotype.  
(shows images of Saku Uruha)

The Visual Kei stereotype.  
(shows images of Re:BERSERK and Alchemist)

The Megane(glasses) stereotype.  
(shows images of Shiki and Kyousuke)

The "My friends called me mom" stereotype.  
(shows images of Touya and Akira)

And many more!

Huh? I forget to mention Tenjou Tenge?

I don't. But they are underrated and rarely shown in every scouting. Even Liber Entertainment forced to add the classic Japanese music to a pop song since it is hard to make profit from showing Japanese traditions.

So prepare your money and your internet package...

for...

Collaborations with Japanese branded products, Creation albums, crossovers, and merchandises.

Because even we care about your concern to in-app purchase, we have to make sure you are broke after buying official merchandises...

...or you could just download them on illegal site since those merchandises are for Japanese only.

* * *

Don't fprget to set your team based on separated units, such as:

The main unit with three members whose name is so stupid, it never deserved to be called "Fire Phoenix" and could not even keep a straight face after pronouncing the name.

Pff... FooF... Noobs and veterans even still pronounce it as "FooF".

Why you have to pronounce it as "Fire Fenix"? I mean, you could just add P in "Fire" to make it "Pfire Phoenix" and yet it feels right to pronounce. Yeah, call me Grammar Nazi but pronouncing "Fenix" just doesn't feel catchy in my head.

.

Twinkle Bell, the only unit with a set of twins voiced by real twins compared to any Japanese related idol twins. We changed their hair to make sure anyone could tell the difference.

...Shit, is the red-highlighted hair guy Satsuki? Or Mutsuki? I forget their names again.

.

Lancelot, the unit that I have no idea what their theme was. But I am sure they are into Jazzy Pop thing. Consist of a Bad Ren Jinguji, a tsundere with a half-bald hair, and a sleepyhead, they would make your ovaries explode. Even though they don't have a knight-in-shining-armor theme.

I am serious. I'm still confused why the creator choose the Ren Jinguji hair for Issei. Or in this case, every bad boy has a very long hair. Is there some kind of a pattern in anime industries?

.

ArSe...  
Pfft, oops. They make the stupid name again.

ArS, means "art" in Latin. Consist of every guy who joined art club but they need more money because their art don't sell enough for their living so they joined to be idols in royal theme instead.

I 3 B, short for "I Love Band", a school band consist of non-Japanese members with a very fluent Japanese but very bad English, Chinese, and Russian. They sounds like your every badly executed school band in your prom or your parents having some karaoke when they were drunk.

I haven't heard Rabi say anything Russian, which is worse than Eli Ayase only saying "Harasho" in every...fucking...game.

Yes. I know it should be "International Boys", but even a foreigner like Noah, Lucas, and Rabi should at least have their funny accents on their Japanese. Their non-accented Japanese don't deserve the "International" term at all.

.

Re: BERSERK, which has no connection to Berserk anime and manga series, is a Visual Kei-themed unit which looks like retards when they have English names and aliases like they have a mix of English in their blood. Even though they look creepy, Re:BERSERK only sing pop songs with a very naughty and sadistic way.

What is with their whole...circus thing? They referring themselves as vampires and witches. Excuse me, but we need to add Yohane in this Chuunbiyou Guild.

.

Pop'n Star, the trap unit which sounds like they were voiced by two girls and one guy who tried so hard to be a girl but failed to be one. With their "girly pop" touch, they would make every guy who played this game being super gay because of them.

Yet the veterans still thought they were girls even after they show their "dangly bells".

.

Tenjou Tenge, classic Japanese themed unit which tried so hard to implement any traditional elements into pop songs even to any song that doesn't need shamisen or taiko instruments but we have to add those anyway because we couldn't call them Tenjou Tenge without anything traditional. The only group that actually very mature and professional for their jobs.

.

And introducing...

...the new unit hell...

Alchemist!

The group consist of another weird theme that we never know where this unit goes. With a cinnamon roll, a chuunbiyou, and a sadistic version of Eva Armstrong, you could never hide from their sight.

Because someone will always watching you no matter what kind of restricted place you are in.

Literally.

Make sure to keep checking your fandom Wiki because we will never give a shit about our fans outside Japan, and we will never give a shit about distributing the game outside Japanese market because we hate taking risk and losing from LoveLive! School Idol Project because we have no pair of boobs and waifu materials.

.

.

.

Starring:

Saint Seiya(Seiya Aido)

The only black Japanese in male idol industry(Akira Mitsurugi)

Lovey Dovey Bunny Sweety(Kanata Minato)

Bloody Yohane(Eva Armstrong)

Yohane Kronos servant(Mio Yamanobe)

Yohane Crown servant(Ban Jumonji)

Twins, or no twins(Kururugi Twins)

Over my Fudanshi's ass(Kyousuke Momoi)

Midorima Shintaro(Shiki Amabe)

The Play Old Man(Raku Wakaoji)

The Old Man's Caretaker(Hikaru Orihara)

Jaws(Torahiko Kusakabe)

Hanayo from LoveLive!(Akio)

The sane Russian(Rabi)

How to Make Love Like an English Man(Lucas)

The French class(Leon)

Native American Wanna-be(Noah)

Jackie Chan(Li Chaoyang)

The Traditional Underdogs(Tenjou Tenge)

Your first and last wet dream(Pop'n Star)

Yandere Simulator(Saku Uruha)

Babel Gum

Hamster face(Kuro Yakaku)

Collaborations

Merchandises

Cross-overs

And...

Theodore Roosevelt(Kumakocho)

 **I-Ch(oose)u**


End file.
